Picnic and A Psychopath A SetLock CrackFic
by lilsherlockian1975
Summary: Just a cracky little story inspired by the recent setLock photos on tumblr.


_This tiny little story was inspired by the setLock pics that have been floating around tumblr lately. I'm a huge fan of Moriarty, really I am, as long as he doesn't hurt Molly or she doesn't suddenly become one of his hench'people'. MizJoely looked this over, bless her._

 _I own nothing. I rated this T, but it's a soft T. Enjoy ~Lil~_

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"What a lovely day for a picnic," Molly said. "You are a closet romantic, Sherlock Holmes."

"Indeed. But that's just one of many secrets that you keep for me, Molly Hooper," he replied with a sly grin.

She giggled as she watched him spread out a blanket on the sand, admiring the way his trousers clung to his bottom. Soon they were enjoying a lunch of fresh fruit and Mrs. Hudson's cucumber sandwiches. Once the food was consumed, Sherlock started on Molly's neck. Suddenly a noise in the distance disturbed her enjoyment of his lovely lips.

"Uh, Sherlock? What's that sound?"

He tilted his head and listened. "Clearly it's an unmarked helicopter, Molly. Have I taught you nothing?" Then went right back to marking her neck. _Possessive git_.

He had just gotten his hand up her brightly coloured jumper when the noise became far too distracting for her to enjoy his attention. "Sherlock! Why is a helicopter landing on the beach?"

They both sat up and watched as it landed. Moments later two slightly imposing men climbed out, flanking the door. Then out came James Moriarty himself.

Sherlock sighed. "Of course. I've been expecting this," he said before getting up and straightening his clothes. He held out a hand to help Molly up. "Come along. We should see what he wants."

"Or we could just kill him," she huffed.

"Yes, well that _is_ an option."

The couple strolled hand in hand toward the helicopter. When they were about thirty feet from the recently resurrected criminal he threw his hands up in the air and said, "I'm back baby!" Then started walking forward, a huge smile on his face.

"Oh God, here it comes," Sherlock whispered.

"Look at the happy couple!" Moriarty said in a sing-song voice once he got closer, his thugs right on his heels. "I have to ask…"

"Let me stop you right there," Molly interrupted. "We didn't miss you."

"Ah… I don't think you're quite getting it, Molly love…"

"No, she gets it, Jimmy. She just isn't scared. Aaaaand don't call her love," Sherlock said.

"That's just… I mean… of course she's… I'm _terrifying_!" He shouted the last word. "Besides I just returned from the dead!"

Sherlock rolled his eyes. "That's _sooo_ one and a half years ago. I'd ask you your plans but it's really a moot point. You want to play some game. Ultimately kill me and my friends. Molly will be high on your list this time, no doubt. Or…"

Suddenly shots rang out and the henchmen dropped like lead weights.

Sherlock stepped up to James and said, "It seems you forgot that my best friends are expert marksmen… and women. Marks… people?" He turned to Molly. "What's the politically correct term?"

Molly shrugged and shook her head.

The psychopath bumped his chest into Sherlock's. "When did you become so _boring_?

"Oh for heaven's sake. You need new lines. Also, I only said this in my head, so… Out of my face SHORT ARSE!" Sherlock shoved the shorter man, causing him to stumble and fall.

James immediately got up and started ranting, his arms pumping up and down like a toddler. "No! No! NO! This is NOT how it was suppose to go! I was going to kidnap Molly and do horrible things to her. You'd go nuts not knowing where she was. The DI would start drinking excessively because he's in love with her, of course. You'd blame yourself and fight with John and it would drive a wedge between the two of you. He'd take it out on Mary and she'd finally see him for what he is and leave his blond ass. It was suppose to destroy the whole dynamic of your little circle of friends. NO! No! No! You're boring and…"

Another shot went off and Moriarty went down. Sherlock turned to see Molly as she was slipping her gun back into its holster on her calf. "Molly!"

"What? He wouldn't shut up!"

Sherlock sighed and shook his head. "It's done now. Mycroft won't be pleased. He wanted him alive, for some reason."

"Well he can get happy in the same pants he got mad in. I wasn't going to stand here and listen to that ridiculous plan." She motioned for him. "Come on, let's get this over with so we can finish our date," she said with a suggestive eyebrow wiggle.

He put his arm around her as they started walking back up the beach. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Mmmm, the possibilities are endless!"

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 _Okay, that was cracky. Let me know what you think. : ) Thanks ~Lil~_


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